Tuesday, July 16, 2013

My Son is Well Adjusted At Daycare...I Should Be Happy, Right?

My son seems happy with his daycare. He gets excited when the caregiver opens the door and he runs in to see his friends. He is THRILLED (but in a good way) when I come to pick him up and is usually in really good spirits. You can tell he's happy and has had a good day but happy to see his mama. He's not the kid that is afraid to see me go in the morning or is crying by the end of the day because he misses mommy so much. He seems really happy and well adjusted.

This of course has curbed my feelings of anxiety and guilt for having him in daycare full time. It was a hard decision; one that I knew was necessary, but I am glad I was able to hold off until he was a year and a half before putting him in. 

Yesterday morning when I was dropping him off, another mom was dropping her son off who I know has been at the daycare center for at least a few months because I see him on a regular basis when I drop my son off and pick him up. He was hesitant to go inside and his mother repeatedly said bye, gave him lots of hugs and kisses until he felt comfortable to go in. My son on the other hand will barely give me a hug and race to see his friends. Now of course this leaves me thinking...is this a sign my son is feeling disconnected from me?

I finally finished reading Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids and as good as I should feel to have proven, helpful parenting advice, I can't help but feel as if I've done too many wrongs by yelling, focusing on time outs and keeping him in daycare as long as I do. I wonder if him running into daycare, not really caring whether I'm there or not is a sign of my bad parenting because he feels disconnected from me and will continue to do so as an older child by acting out or giving into peer pressure. 

I'm getting all of this from seeing this little boy, sad and timid who is afraid to leave his mom when I know it would break my heart to see my son react that way every morning and it would hurt just as much to arrive to pick him up crying because he's unhappy.